These Words Are Not My Own

I thought it would be fun to let my readers in on some things I've heard over the years from guys.

Yes, these words have actually been uttered to yours truly once upon a time by potential suitors  (or their mothers). Next to it are my thought bubbles in that moment in time.

1. Are you an AMREEKAN (American) Citizen? (Really? I've heard this said on Bollywood films and soap operas but I never thought I would experience this in real life)

2. I want a baseball team of kids. (And I want a 10 karat engagement ring but we don't always get what we want)

***Those of you who do not follow America's favorite  pastime, that is 9 kids total

3. Since you work for a non-profit organization does that mean your pay is non-profit too? (FOB translation:  Does your job pay you or do you work for free?)

4. I will not let my girlfriend/wife/fiancee go on vacation alone or with friends, she might cheat on me. (Trust  issues much?)

5. If we get married you will be my second wife (Excuse me?)

6. I was once married to a prostitute (Thank you for clarifying #5 for me and how do you feel about STD tests?)

7. I am bipolar (Oh god, that explains so much now!)

8. My mother has a thing against lawyers. (Oh, I guess that will be an issue when we file for divorce)

9. Last night I was driving on the NJ Turnpike and I thought I saw an alien in sky (...CLICK...the sound of me hanging up the phone).

10. Are you a virgin? (Why are you not?)