Why Can't We Be Friends?

What do you do when you have to sever friendships with a group of people because they just happened to be your ex's friends? 

It is sad is when your ex's friends are tolerable people, whose company you actually enjoy and just when you have gotten used to having them around....and then the break up happens. 

I have social anxiety and I hate meeting new people. That combination makes me one crazy person when I am out of my comfort zone. Just ask my wonderful friends who have to put up with my constant text messages as I am in these situations, as its happening. Okay, so I can't truly hate new people because I don't know them yet, but I despise the anxiety that consumes  me when I have to make casual conversation with the significant other's circle of friends and I always have to pay special attention to myself and make sure sure I don't make a fool out of myself. I am the one getting judged, and you know its true. You know they have seen girls come and go in their friend's life and if you are me you always wonder in the back of your head, did they like the previous girl better than me? 

One time I had to meet an ex beau's friends, I did not have enough time to prepare myself because I didn't realize it was happening. One other time I had way to much time to think about it and kept giving myself pep talks throughout the day to the point where I was counting down every minute of every hour and consumed a whole pitcher of mojito in a span of one hour. Light bulb moment: Liquid confidence does wonders for you. 

(Side note: I am not an alcoholic - I actually met a new circle of friends without any alcohol once, lol. But seriously, I don't even drink anymore). 

And even though I was nervous of meeting new people, that night happened to my one of my favorite nights and till this day, it still is one of my favorite nights. We all laughed and played go fish (yeah seriously, five grown ups sitting around a table in the backyard playing GO FISH). I remember for a second I just sat there and observed what was going on. These new friends I had just met were either a decade or more older than I was and yet they didn't make it awkward or anything for me made a genuine effort to get to know me, and that meant a lot to me. Especially since the beau was busy slaving away in the kitchen while I fended for myself out there. 

I also remember having an important conversation in my head with myself going over the game of go fish, as this night was happening. "Now is it GO FISH or GOLD FISH?, because I used to play it so long ago I think I used to call out GOLD FISH". I strategically waited for someone else to yell it out first....so I didn't make a complete fool out of myself. It was GO FISH and I won...TWICE. 

......Second story time!

You also observe things about your boyfriend when you are around HIS friends.

You know how in every circle of friends you will always have that douche bag friend? Well in my case I slowly began to realize that my boyfriend at the time happened to be just that, in his group of friends. Of course I would get stuck with the douche. It wouldn't happen any other way. In that same moment I also realized that my boyfriend was THAT guy who will stop a car in the middle of a neighborhood street to go relieve himself because he could not wait the 5 minutes it takes to get to the place were were going to that has bathrooms, with walls and guards and is it less likely that you might get caught of indecent exposure in public. Let's just say I did not let him touch my hand once he got back in the car until he washed his hands and I also doused him with my own supply of antibacterial products I could find in my purse. 

And while we are being completely honest I will admit that my thought process quickly went from "Ew, I am dating that guy?" to "Wait....what does this car full of his friends think of me now and do they wonder if I am okay with carrying on a r-ship with this grown up child?".

P.S I had to go douse myself in antibacterial again after writing that last paragraph because I am still so grossed by that incident.

These were great, and somewhat frightening experiences I have had and I was sad to see some of these people go. I knew we couldn't all stay friends. I mean how would I feel if one of my very good friends decided to remain in touch with an ex of mine? Yeah.....that doesn't rub me the right way. 

So there you go folks...some people come in to your life for a reason, a season, or just because.