For me, when a relationship ends....IT ENDS. I do not particularly enjoy keeping MOST memorabilia of past relationships. Simply because when I see them, it is a reminder of what isn't anymore. But you can call me a hypocrite because I do have SOME stuff from my past which I am not sure what to do about.
I have my favorite pair of earrings which were a birthday present from my first boyfriend. I say they are my favorite because I picked them out and he only paid for them. So in my mind that gift does not hold much sentimental value since the only part he played in it, came from his wallet. When we first broke up, I contemplated throwing it away in the ocean somewhere. Something about the satisfaction of tossing it was intriguing to me. Then I realized why should I punish these Sworwovski earrings for someone else's deeds?
So I have them till this day. I am actually wearing them right now as I type this very sentence :-)
On my dresser also sits a Movado watch. What..a Movado you say? Yup, I have had it in my possession for a few years now. How many times have I actually worn it? Well, I wore it religiously for a week when it was first presented to me by another ex-frog as a birthday present..and maybe twice after that on random occasions. I don't do watches, or any wrist jewellery, It's just not my thing.I've been debating pawning it forever now, just never got around to it.
I remember when Mr. NYC and I broke up I couldn't bare to see anything that he gave me. One of my friend's has the snow globe he got for me from Puerto Rico on her dresser. I thought it was a sweet gesture, I had told him to bring me back from sun and sand from PR and when I saw him, he presented me with the globe. Now I see it every time I visit my friend at her house. I wanted to smash that globe too, but she wouldn't let me. She also took a Gorilla we made out of sand art at a festival. I wanted to empty the remains of the Gorilla at work one day, but my friend being as caring as she is, took it away from me for safe keeping until one day I decided I wanted it back. The best satisfaction I got after that break up was running the birthday card he gave me threw a shredder. I thought it was cute, It said "Happy First Birthday (With Me)" on it. Awww how sweet...GAG.
With this recent break up, I went all ape shit. I really wanted to throw up the boxes and boxes of girl scout cookies he had brought me, which are now in my stomach....BUT it had been a few months and I am not going to try to shove my hand down my throat and get those remains back. NOT because it's not possible, but because it's too much damn work lol. I did however rip apart the Valentine's Day card and now I don't think I can bare to see any Winnie the Pooh memorabilia for a long time. I really loved my cactus desk plant, it was something that I always wanted and somehow ex-boo and I "connected" on the same wavelength when he brought it for me as a "surprise". But I had to let that one go too. This time there was no friend to talk some sense into me to "hold" on to it until I could bare to see it again.
I was having a conversation with one of my friend's today. I told her how I have Ex-Boo's t-shirt that I would sometimes wear to sleep when I missed him and how Winnie the Pooh is still a part of my small stuffed animal collection. I vented to her that a part of me really wanted to cut up the t-shirt and Pooh and deliver the remains to his doorstep. But she told me that was a little drastic and I agreed. We laughed about it though, because she and I both have a tendency to be really "belligerent" and "hostile" when we have been wronged. For now I will hold on to it...but I think it's safe to say I won't ever wear that t-shirt again.
Coincidentally....today the Gorilla sand art sits on my desk at work. I got it back from my friend a few months ago when she was cleaning out her desk. I guess time does do wonders. I can look at it without feeling anything for anyone. No memories of the past is associated with it. But it took a long time for me to get here. Welcome back to my life "Naila" the Gorilla, you were missed.
I know you all must think I am some kind of a crazy lunatic chic, and maybe to an extent I am. But girls, I am sure we all have been there before. You know exactly where I am coming from.....somewhere behind all this anger is a lot of hurt.
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