A friend recently sent me a Buzzfeed article about "21 Things We All Do But Will Never Admit Too.." which was the inspiration behind this post.
These are thought bubbles I have had in my head during certain moments with ex-frogs which were not my most proudest moments. But it's a part of who I am and I can't stop myself from thinking these things, hence these are my thoughts.
Let's go back to a few weeks ago when I was given the only option of taking a ride in Mr. NYC's motorcycle. My many thought bubbles in that moment:
Ugh...why are you asking me if I brought closed toed shoes? Wait those are not the keys to your Lexus....UGH....the bike? REALLY? Did you not witness me doing my hair the last hour? Oh shit I forgot how to strap on the helmet and now you are going to make fun of me watching me try. Great, now I am going to have helmet hair the rest of the day :-( I hate you.
Here's a thought bubble from the time a few years ago we were out to dinner at a restaurant that was known for Southern food. You know I was thinking fried chicken and mashed potatoes but NOOOOOOO there was no fried chicken on the menu. No, Instead we ordered steamed crawfish as an appetizer (and you know my experience went downhill from there). I am always open to trying new things, but with food, I dunno it's usually a hit or a miss. Almost always a miss. I was crying on the inside because the waiter brought a sheet of paper that had instructions on how to "properly open up a crawfish and eat it". You'd think that would be a good thing for me right? But I guess someone forgot to tell him that I suck at following step by step directions. Sigh.
You just had to be there, I managed to get the hang of it towards the end and I silently prayed the entire time that I wouldn't fling a crawfish across the table and stab Mr. NYC in the eye with it (because let's face it, there was a really good possibility of that happening). P.S for dinner I went with salmon. I figured it was a safe bet. In case anyone wants to experience crawfish for themselves if you are ever in the Queens area, the restaurant is called "Cooking With Jazz". I did like the name. P.S.S They even give you a utensil that resembles a nut cracker to open these creatures. Enjoy!
Did I ever tell you the thoughts going through my head when I went to my first "house party"? First of all, I would like to say I am more prepared for things when I know about them in advance. I don't do well in spur of the moment decisions because my brain has not had time to "process" it. If that makes any sense. Yes I know I am beyond special in some ways. So when this was happening I was trying to collect myself and not let anyone around me (people I had just met for the first time) see the frantic look on my face. I channeled my friend Jess in my head. I think I even texted her for moral support but I had left my phone at the house so I never saw what she wrote back until I got home from the party. I think there were two thoughts going in circles in my head, "Oh sweet Jesus, what am I getting myself into?" and "Dear past college-self, why didn't you ever experience house parties during undergrad?". But to sum it up, it was a great (drunken) experience. I think at one point I stumbled on the porch and landed on some garbage bags. Go ahead, laugh...I sure did. It was funny.
With this story, I should have just spoken up but no, instead I allowed myself to die in misery. Summer of 2012. Took a trip to good old Hotlanta to see some guy my parents were setting me up with, remember Mr. I Smoke A Pack A Day? Yeah.......well during one trip he told me that his A/C in his car had been broken and he hadn't had time to fix it. I figured okay how am I supposed to react to that? Be a princess and be like "Oh hey yeah that is not going to work,I am gonna need you to rent yourself a car that is fully air conditioned because I cannot survive a 1.5 hours car ride to the middle of nowhere while I am frying away". Sigh. I should have just said that. But no, I had to keep my mouth shut and deal with the mess I got myself in. See, the first time I visited him he DID rent a car and I didn't know why..until my second trip. Let's just say the trip back to Hotlanta to a Braves' game one afternoon was not pretty. I had already sweated my life out in the 1.5 hours it took to get from West Point, GA to Atlanta. Now I had to sit through another 3 hours at a baseball game...in the heat. That was the time I came home and realized I got a farmer's tan from that game. Memo to self: Sunblock! Sunblock! Sunblock!!!!!!!!
P.S I am pretty sure he tried to hold my hand from the car to the stadium and I just gave him the death stare. Touch me and die, my hands are sweaty, so are yours...let's keep them to ourselves shall we?
Even funnier story: During the recent cabin trip Ex-Boo's truck had no A/C. I laughed inside to myself. If only he knew how ready I was to take a trip with no air conditioning. Bring it on, I know how to do this now and it wasn't hot as Hotlanta so this was BREEZE compared to ATL lol.
I guess life really does prepare you for the future...in some ways :-)
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