Life always happens to me. A little overdramatic maybe, but let me explain.
Last night I was trying to go to bed and I was on Facebook before I fell asleep. Suddenly I see a "friend request" notification flash on my screen. And who was it from? Mr. NYC of course. My heart did not pound harder, my stomach did not twist into knots. I just laughed instead. If you've been De-friended by me, there was a reason behind it. Why do you insist on reconnecting on a level which no longer exists between us?
I recently saw him on a trip to New York and before everyone asks WHY oh WHY did you do that. Just hear me out. I needed a distraction. Yes that is my reasoning and I am sticking to it.
It was good though, because spending time with this ex-frog made me so thankful for not being with him today. The more time we spent together, the more I realized we were two different people. How we ever connected on a "relationship" level, is beyond me.
He is still the same old ass he has always been. The same old smart mouth, gum chewing, throwing around the F word like it's going out of style, man. The only thing that has changed was his "guns" (arms). They looked a lot buffer then when I had seen them last. (I am a sucker for arms...FYI). But was I going to tell him that? Of course not. There was no need to feed his ego...or else it would explode.
I rode on his motorcycle again, the same one he had bought when we were together. The only motorcycle I have ever been on. This time I noticed a sticker on the bike which read "No Fat Chicks Allowed". Sigh..Like I said, an ass will always be an ass, there's not much you can do about that.
I made sure to tell him what an ass he was, every chance I got. His response "You know you missed the asshole side of me". I replied with, "Yeah just like how I miss root canals."
We did connect on a friendship level after all the snarky comments were out of our system. We caught each other up on our individual lives, our families and siblings. At that moment and that moment only, I remembered he is a human being after all. I saw a spark of empathy in him and then just like that, it all went away.
While were catching up on family, I was wrestling with a bakery box where there was hazelnut cheesecake waiting for me. I was trying to untie a knot from a plastic bag with my hands and of course he goes "I gave you scissors and you're still struggling there?".
Ahfshfsddgdg! THAT is why we are not together (along with millions of other reasons) . Because of moments like that.
We went back to joking around. I told him he was going to remain a bachelor for life, he loves this lifestyle too much. A different girl every night, no commitments to tie him back....and he likes his space. I asked him to invite me to his 40th Birthday Party (in a few years) and we joked about how I would show up with my husband and 3 kids lol.
I saved the best story for last. I am a klutz, I have always been, and I can always manage to embarrass myself on a regular basis. But with this ex-frog, the moments of embarrassment all came at once. So why should this time be any different?
I was attempting to blow dry my hair and I was alone as he went to make a 15 min grocery run. In those 15 minutes I managed to cut off all the electricity in his house :-( I saw it happen too, with each second I noticed the lights flicker and I was wondering what was going on and it wasn't until the power went out I had remembered....always shut off the air conditioner before plugging in a blow dryer..or else you run the risk of blowing a fuse. Which is exactly what I did ;-/
You have no idea the number of thoughts that were going through my head in that moment. Mostly, I wanted to die of embarrassment and cry. But instead I mustered up some courage and called him and calmly asked "Uh....where is your fuse box.....?"
After a long sigh and then some laughter he responds with, "You were drying your hair huh.....? It's next to the sink...sit tight I'll be there in 5 minutes".
And of course as I was sitting in the dark I turned on my iphone "flashlight" app and if things couldn't get any worse I blinded him with the flashlight when he came home.
"Want some light so you can see?"
"Thank you for shining that directly at me, now I am blind..."
"I'll see myself out..."
...And this folks is one of the many reasons why we are no longer together.
So am I going to accept his friend request? I haven't decided yet. Sure we may be "friends" on some level, but there was a reason I De-friended him in the first place. For now I will just leave his friend request sitting in limbo.
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