The X-Files....Dun Dun Dun

Sometimes I really do think the universe is testing me...or maybe just teasing me?

Here's how it all began. Friday at work was a bad day. I tried to do my best not to break down at work with my post-break up situation but some days are harder than others. Let's just say some tears were shed behind closed doors. I gave myself five minutes to get all the crying out of the way and then snap back into reality. I must say though, now I know how to cleverly run to the bathroom at work and break down and come back in a decent time so no one realizes what the hell is happening. I mean, do I really want to be known as the girl who is too emotional to keep her problems at home? Of course not!

As the day went on, the sky was crying too...it was raining like crazy. I was doing my best to keep up a happy face and by the end of the day I made myself believe it too! (Two pats on the back!)

TGIF! 5:00 o'clock comes around and after I get back to my office to gather my stuff and get going I have my phone in my hand and I see it flash with a text and who is it? Mr. NYC of course...dun...dun..dun.

I just laughed. Because really what else can you do? Actually no let me take that back, I cried a little on the inside at my luck and then laughed. At this point  his resurfacing is so ill-timed, I would not be surprised if he has a snow globe of my life and shakes it to know exactly when to strike.

It's like he knows when to reach out, he has impeccable timing in my life...and I told him that too. Of course he didn't understand it and brushed it off as "You wished it, you willed it and I made it happen" (the text message). Okay Mr. Big Shot, let's not carried away.

(Really though, have you  met anyone else who is THAT in love with themselves?) 

If he only knew...he was the furthest thing on my mind that day, I was trying to wash away memories of someone else.

My friend and I were talking about this scenario and she said that maybe he came back into my life right now as the perfect distraction to help me get through what's going currently. Maybe? I don't know. But I will be the first to admit that there's no harm in entertaining him right now as a simple distraction. 

Everything was fine until he dropped the "I Miss You" bomb....UGH...knot in my stomach. Exactly what I wanted to hear BUT WRONG GUY. So what do you do now?

Let's be honest girls, from the words of my friend, we all pray at one time or another that our exes will miss us. She had a point there. I did often wonder about this day but I didn't think I ever saw it becoming a reality, especially not while I am going through a break up.

I figured the best way to handle this would be to send a cold text back so I simply said "That's nice" and went to sleep. Because let's face it, when you're sending an old flame "i miss you"  texts after hours you're either super wasted and/or need to scratch a certain itch..or worse, it's BOTH. And nothing good ever comes out of that. It's the oldest trick in the book. 

Woke up the next morning and there was a response back.  Jeez. 

A part of me wanted to ask "How many girls do you text "i miss you" at once and how many responses have you actually gotten back? And out of all of them was I the first one your list , or last one?". I don't know which would offend me more, being the first one on his hit list, or the last one. Think about it.

Sigh....that's all I got for you today. 

When you want them, they walk away but when you don't want them they come anyway. 

There Lives A Princess Inside My Head....Sometimes

A friend recently  sent me a Buzzfeed article about "21 Things We All Do But Will Never Admit Too.." which was the inspiration behind this post.

These are thought bubbles I have had in my head during certain moments with ex-frogs  which were not my most proudest moments. But it's a part of who I am and I can't stop myself from thinking these things, hence these are my thoughts.

Let's go back to a few weeks ago when I was given the only option of taking a ride in Mr. NYC's motorcycle. My many thought bubbles in that  moment:

Ugh...why are you asking me if I brought closed toed shoes? Wait those are not the keys to your Lexus....UGH....the bike? REALLY? Did you not witness me doing my hair the last hour? Oh shit I forgot how to strap on the helmet and now you are going to make fun of me watching me try. Great, now I am going to have helmet hair the rest of the day :-( I hate you.

Here's a thought bubble from the time a few years ago we were out to dinner at a restaurant that was known for Southern food. You know I was thinking fried chicken and mashed potatoes but NOOOOOOO there was no fried chicken on the menu. No, Instead we ordered steamed crawfish as an appetizer (and you know my experience went downhill from there). I am always open to trying new things, but with food, I dunno it's usually a hit or a miss. Almost always a miss. I was crying on the inside because the waiter brought a sheet of paper that had instructions on how to "properly open up a crawfish and eat it". You'd think that would be a good thing for me right? But I guess someone forgot to tell him that I suck at following step by step directions. Sigh.

You just had to be there, I managed to get the hang of it towards the end and I silently prayed the entire time that I wouldn't fling a crawfish across the table and stab Mr. NYC in the eye with it (because let's face it, there was a really good possibility of that happening). P.S for dinner I went with salmon. I figured it was a safe bet. In case anyone wants to experience crawfish for themselves if you are ever in the Queens area, the restaurant is called "Cooking With Jazz". I did like the name. P.S.S They even give you a utensil that resembles a nut cracker to open these creatures. Enjoy!



Did I ever tell you the thoughts going through my head when I went to my first "house party"? First of all, I would like to say I am more prepared for things when I know about them in advance. I don't do well in spur of the moment decisions because my brain has not had time to "process" it. If that makes any sense. Yes I know I am beyond special in some ways. So when this was happening I was trying to collect myself and not let anyone around me (people I had just met for the first time) see the frantic look on my face. I channeled my friend Jess in my head. I think I even texted her for moral support but I had left my phone at the house so I never saw what she wrote back until I got home from the party. I think there were two thoughts going in circles in my head, "Oh sweet Jesus, what am I getting myself into?" and "Dear past college-self, why didn't you ever experience house parties during undergrad?".  But to sum it up, it was a great (drunken) experience. I think at one point I stumbled on the porch and landed on some garbage bags. Go ahead, laugh...I sure did. It was funny.

With this story, I should have just spoken up but no, instead I allowed myself to die in misery. Summer of 2012. Took a trip to good old Hotlanta to see some guy my parents were setting me up with, remember Mr. I Smoke A Pack A Day? Yeah.......well during one trip he told me that his A/C in his car had been broken and he hadn't had time to fix it. I figured okay how am I supposed to react to that? Be a princess and be like "Oh hey yeah that is not going to work,I am gonna need you to rent yourself a car that is fully air conditioned because I cannot survive a 1.5 hours car ride to the middle of nowhere while I am frying away". Sigh. I should have just said that. But no, I had to keep my mouth shut and deal with the mess I got myself in. See, the first time I visited him he DID rent a car and I didn't know why..until my second trip. Let's just say the trip back to Hotlanta to a Braves' game one afternoon was not pretty. I had already sweated my life out in the 1.5 hours it took to get from West Point, GA to Atlanta. Now I had to sit through another 3 hours at a baseball game...in the heat. That was the time I came home and realized I got a farmer's tan from that game. Memo to self: Sunblock! Sunblock! Sunblock!!!!!!!! 


P.S I am pretty sure he tried to hold my hand from the car to the stadium and I just gave him the death stare. Touch me and die, my hands are sweaty, so are yours...let's keep them to ourselves shall we?

Even funnier story: During the recent cabin trip Ex-Boo's truck had no A/C. I laughed inside to myself. If only he knew how ready I was to take a trip with no air conditioning. Bring it on, I know how to do this now and it wasn't hot as Hotlanta so this was BREEZE compared to ATL lol.

I guess life really does prepare you for the future...in some ways :-)

Oh, So Now You Want To Be My Friend?

Life always happens to me. A little overdramatic maybe, but let me explain.

Last night I was trying to go to bed and I was on Facebook before I fell asleep. Suddenly I see a "friend request" notification flash on my screen. And who was it from? Mr. NYC of course. My heart did not pound harder, my stomach did not twist into knots. I just laughed instead. If you've been De-friended by me, there was a reason behind it. Why do you insist on reconnecting on a level which no longer exists between us?

I recently saw him on a trip to New York and before everyone asks WHY oh WHY did you do that. Just hear me out. I needed a distraction. Yes that is my reasoning and I am sticking to it.

It was good though, because spending time with this ex-frog made me so thankful for not being with him today. The more time we spent together, the more I realized we were two different people. How we ever connected on a "relationship" level, is beyond me.

He is still the same old ass he has always been. The same old smart mouth, gum chewing, throwing around the F word like it's going out of style, man. The only thing that has changed was his "guns" (arms). They looked a lot buffer then when I had seen them last. (I am a sucker for arms...FYI). But was I going to tell him that? Of course not. There was no need to feed his ego...or else it would explode.

I rode on his motorcycle again, the same one he had bought when we were together. The only motorcycle I have ever been on. This time I noticed a sticker on the bike which read "No Fat Chicks Allowed". Sigh..Like I said, an ass will always be an ass, there's not much you can do about that.

I made sure to tell him what an ass he was, every chance I got. His  response "You know you missed the asshole side of me". I replied with,  "Yeah just like how I miss root canals."

We did connect on a friendship level after all the snarky comments were out of our system. We caught each other up on our individual lives, our families and siblings. At that moment and that moment only, I remembered he is a human being after all. I saw a spark of empathy in him and then just like that, it all went away.

While were catching up on family,  I was wrestling with a bakery box where there was hazelnut cheesecake waiting for me. I was trying to untie a knot from a plastic bag with my hands and of course he goes "I gave you scissors and you're still struggling there?".

Ahfshfsddgdg! THAT is why we are not together (along with millions of other reasons) . Because of moments like that.

We went back to joking around. I told him he was going to remain a bachelor for life, he loves this lifestyle too much. A different girl every night, no commitments to tie him back....and he likes his space. I asked him to invite me to his 40th Birthday Party (in a few years) and we joked about how I would show up with my husband and 3 kids lol.

I saved the best story for last. I am a klutz, I have always been, and I can always manage to embarrass myself on a regular basis. But with this ex-frog, the moments of embarrassment all came at once. So why should this time be any different?

I was attempting to blow dry my hair and I was alone as he went to make a 15 min grocery run. In those 15 minutes I managed to cut off all the electricity in his house :-(  I saw it happen too, with each second I noticed the lights flicker and I was wondering what was going on and it wasn't until the power went out I had remembered....always shut off the air conditioner before plugging in a blow dryer..or else you run the risk of blowing a fuse. Which is exactly what I did ;-/

You have no idea the number of thoughts that were going through my head in that moment. Mostly, I wanted to die of embarrassment and cry. But instead I mustered up some courage and called him and calmly asked "Uh....where is your fuse box.....?"

After a long sigh and then some laughter he responds with, "You were drying your hair huh.....? It's next to the sink...sit tight I'll be there in 5 minutes".

And of course as I was sitting in the dark I turned on my iphone "flashlight" app and if things couldn't get any worse I blinded him with the flashlight when he came home.

"Want some light so you can see?"
"Thank you for shining that directly at me, now I am blind..."
"I'll see myself out..."

...And this folks is one of the many reasons why we are no longer together.

So am I going to accept his friend request? I haven't decided yet. Sure we may be "friends" on some level, but there was a reason I De-friended him in the first place. For now I will just leave his friend request sitting in limbo.

To Keep Or Not to Keep....That is the Question

For me, when a relationship ends....IT ENDS. I do not particularly enjoy keeping MOST memorabilia of past relationships. Simply because when I see them, it is a reminder of what isn't anymore. But you can call me a hypocrite because I do have SOME stuff from my past which I am not sure what to do about.

I have my favorite pair of earrings which were a birthday present from my first boyfriend. I say they are my favorite because I picked them out and he only paid for them. So in my mind that gift does not hold much sentimental value since the only part he played in it,  came from his wallet. When we first broke up, I contemplated throwing it away in the ocean somewhere. Something about the satisfaction of tossing it was intriguing to me. Then I realized why should I punish these Sworwovski earrings for someone else's deeds? 

So I have them till this day. I am actually wearing them right now as I type this very sentence :-)

On my dresser also sits a Movado watch. What..a Movado you say? Yup, I have had it in my possession for a few years now. How many times have I actually worn it? Well, I wore it religiously for a week when it was first presented to me by another ex-frog as a birthday present..and maybe twice after that on random occasions. I don't do watches, or any wrist jewellery, It's just not my thing.I've been debating pawning it forever now, just never got around to it.

I remember when Mr. NYC and I broke up I couldn't bare to see anything that he gave me. One of my friend's has the snow globe he got for me from Puerto Rico on her dresser. I thought it was a sweet gesture, I had told him to bring me back from sun and sand from PR and when I saw him, he presented me with the globe. Now I see it every time I visit my friend at her house. I wanted to smash that globe too, but she wouldn't let me. She also took a Gorilla we made out of sand art at a festival. I wanted to empty the remains of the Gorilla at work one day, but my friend being as caring as she is, took it away from me for safe keeping until one day I decided I wanted it back. The best satisfaction I got after that break up was running the birthday card he gave me threw a shredder. I thought it was cute, It said "Happy First Birthday (With Me)" on it. Awww how sweet...GAG.

With this recent break up, I went all ape shit. I really wanted to throw up the boxes and boxes of girl scout cookies he had brought me, which are now in my stomach....BUT it had been a few months and I am not going to try to shove my hand down my throat and get those remains back. NOT because it's not possible, but because it's too much damn work lol. I did however rip apart the Valentine's Day card and now I don't think I can bare to see any Winnie the Pooh memorabilia for a long time. I really loved my cactus desk plant, it was something that I always wanted and somehow ex-boo and I "connected" on the same wavelength when he brought it for me as a "surprise". But I had to let that one go too. This time there was no friend to talk some sense into me to "hold" on to it until I could bare to see it again.

I was having a conversation with one of my friend's today. I told her how I have Ex-Boo's t-shirt that I would sometimes wear to sleep when I missed him and how Winnie the Pooh is still a part of my small stuffed animal collection. I vented to her that a part of me really wanted to cut up the t-shirt and Pooh and deliver the remains to his doorstep. But she told me that was a little drastic and I agreed. We laughed about it though, because she and I both have a tendency to be really "belligerent" and "hostile" when we have been wronged. For now I will hold on to it...but I think it's safe to say I won't ever wear that t-shirt again.

Coincidentally....today the Gorilla sand art sits on my desk at work. I got it back from my friend a few months ago when she was cleaning out her desk. I guess time does do wonders. I can look at it without feeling anything for anyone. No memories of the past is associated with it. But it took a long time for me to get here. Welcome back to my life "Naila" the Gorilla, you were missed.

I know you all must think I am some kind of a crazy lunatic chic, and maybe to an extent I am. But girls, I am sure we all have been there before. You know exactly where I am coming from.....somewhere behind all this anger is a lot of hurt.

The Inner Monologue of a Broken Heart

Dear Distressers, (yes that's what I call my fan club)...this is probably my most personal post yet. There will be some humor involved but mostly it's about what the title says. I could've chosen to keep this to myself but my blog and writing is a source of therapy for me and let's face it...real therapy sessions require time and devotion and laying on a couch and retail therapy was getting real expensive!

When did I first know something was wrong? Probably when I had to wait for you at the airport to come and get me. I was excited, I hadn't seen you in five weeks, I was counting down the minutes and seconds to when I would see your car drive up and I can run and give you a hug. While I was waiting I watched a girl wait for her man. I had front row seats and I watched their happy reunion. They were so excited to embrace one another. They wouldn't let each other go, it was slightly vomit worthy. I wondered if we would be like that. Inside I was fuming in anger because I was tired, sleepy and it was late. But once you finally came I did what I do best, I chose to let it go and focus on the weekend. I wanted to spend every second with you and create happy memories and not argue.

The second wind of "thing are not what they seem" was when I asked you when you would come see me next. You did not give me a firm reply, it was very wishy washy and again I ignored it and decided maybe it was my imagination and I was reading too much into it. The third wind was what confirmed my suspicions. We fought, we argued and things were said. I knew it was a turning point. I knew nothing could be taken back now.

...Moments earlier I had sobbed in your arms in the dark of the night of how I was so sad to leave you in a few days. I had let myself go completely and allowed my emotions get the best of me.

Then how did it all fall apart?

When I came home, I cried. I cried and cried because I knew something was wrong. Neither one of us wanted to talk about it. 

I have come to the realization that the truth hurts. It stings in the depths of our hearts to hear the person you fell in love with tell you that one day they stopped feeling the same way. It's like all my life I knew I loved the color black, and then one day I realize that I don't really like black as much as I thought I did. That maybe it's gray or blue I prefer instead. But this is not the same....because with your words I painted a picture in my mind of our future which included a life and a family and a white picket fence, straight down to the soccer mom minivan.

I practiced writing my first name with your last name and even sent you a doodle of it once. You said you liked it...a lot. 

Then how did it all fall apart?

And now I sit here with a brush in my hand. I have to gather the strength to paint a blank slate all over again.

I would be lying to you and myself if I said I fully forgive you for the false promises and dreams. I am not there yet.

The last perfect memory of us keeps flashing in my mind, we were sitting together by the fire and your friend made a comment about us. He said he wanted what we have. In my head I smiled and I was in awe. But now looking back I wondered if that was life jinxing us. We got "nazared" like one of my friends would say. I can't translate what it means literally but "we got jinxed" is a close definition.

The hardest decision I had to make was to choose to walk away. I chose to walk away instead of getting dragged.

"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were."

I am a strong believer of "where there is a will there is a way". If we are meant to be then nothing in this world will stop us from being together. But I know a part of me just says it to pacify myself of the heartache I am experiencing now. I know that with time, the hope will slowly diminish and soon you will be nothing but a distant memory in my past.

"Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans".

I think that is a perfect way to sum this all up.

....In the meantime, I need a new hobby. Basketball season is almost over. If Miami beats San Antonio to win the championship again, I will cry and weep. Dear Universe, you've already given me enough lemons to make lemonade for a lifetime, please direct the rest of the lemons to Miami.

A 10 Digit Panic Attack

I don't know about the rest of you....but my past ALWAYS comes colliding with my present when I am in a happy place. Let me take you back to a few weeks ago when I got a surprise blast from my past from Mr. NYC. The same weekend I was jumping up for joy in excitement for the cabin trip with my boo (in case you haven't figured it out by reading my last post, that's Mr. Ex-Boo now).

In case you need a refresher...Mr. NYC was the one who waited until I called him that one fateful  October night of 2011(it was a Sunday night I believe) to break up with me. THANK GOD that weekend was a 3 day weekend, THANK YOU COLUMBUS FOR DISCOVERING AMERICA! You girls know what I am talking about, sometimes you hurt so bad it pains you to get up in the morning.

Flash forward to the present: It was probably a Wednesday or Thursday night, Mr. Ex-Boo and I were texting back and forth and I was truly happy and talking to him and secretly counting down the hours to when I could hug him and tell him exactly how much I was missing him. We were in a semi-serious conversation via text and I was halfway getting ready for bed.

Then...out of nowhere...as I am typing a reply text to Mr. Ex-Boo, I see a number flash above my phone. I deleted his number a long time ago, but I can recognize the area code and the last 4 digits. Immediately my heart sank because when I read the area code in my head. I knew exactly who it was from.

All these thoughts running through my head at the same time: "Why?", "What does he want?", "Is it weird that I get his text at the exact moment I am texting my significant other", "Does he know?". Seriously, there were millions of thoughts in a span of 5 seconds going through my head.

I calmly finish my text to Mr. Ex-Boo and then see what the other fool wants.

“How is your new job going?”

REALLY?  THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED TO KNOW AND WHY YOU GAVE ME HALF OF A PANIC ATTACK?

What a fool, clearly someone forgot to tell him that this new job he is referring to is now 8 months old! Last time I had any communication with him he had sent me a birthday text and that was when I told him I had just gotten out of my old miserable job and starting a new one.

Apparently Mr. NYC had been "meaning" to get in touch with me for awhile. Of course in my head I'm thinking...WHY? We have nothing to say to each other. In case you forgot, you are the one who blocked me on facebook...so why are you reaching out?

What is really funny to me is how after all this time you could be over someone and not have any feelings for them but still cannot cross over to having a "normal" conversation with them. You girls know what I mean. You know what you guys really want to say to each other but tip toe around it and exchange regular "Hi" and "How are you's".

I knew exactly what I wanted to ask him: "Do you still not believe in feelings?", "How is your dad?", "Still with that other girl that you left at the train station a few months ago?" "Why yes..I did hear about that train station situation, in case you forget, we know some of the same people", "Have you changed your sheets yet? Because I remember every time I came to see you, you had the same white and orange comforter from IKEA that everyone and their mother has".

But instead I just asked him how he was doing and and if he was still living/working in the same place as when I knew him last. In case you are all wondering...the answer yes to both of those questions lol.

The moral of this story is sometimes it takes a blast from your past to realize (at least in that moment) that some things don't work out because better things are waiting for you. And that was the first time I actually thanked Mr. NYC. Had he not broken up with me, I wouldn't have been in a happier place with someone else who I love dearly. So, thank you Mr. NYC for being the asshole that you were/are.  I am so glad we never worked out. Don't worry...I am sure there is a tortured soul out there for you who can be your better half. I am glad I got out of there when I did Errr, thank you for breaking up with me, when you did.

Weekend Full of Fun, Football and A Princess

For those of you who know me, probably were confused when I told you all that I was going to spend Memorial Day Weekend with my (then) boyfriend in a Cabin...in the middle of nowhere....and a bunch of his (guy) friends.

Why on earth would I even agree to this guy bonding weekend? More importantly, where did this desire to become "one" with mother nature suddenly become so appealing to me? Me, the girl who screams when she sees a fly fast approaching and once locked herself in a friend's bathroom because other kids had brought a decapitated caterpillar in the house. (True Story!)

Well girls, when you love someone and you don't get to see them often, you will agree to (almost) anything in order to spend some time with them.

Actually to sum it all up, it was not that bad at all, I ended up having more fun than I thought I would. But of course I needed to share my experience with my fellow females just to entertain you all and let you in on some of the funny things I had to encounter.

One thing I am proud of myself for is going two days without showering. The proud part being I realized I did not stink with any bad BO, and came to the realization that people can survive without showering for a few days. (I also shower everyday and sometimes on hot summer days  I have been known to shower twice a day). Go ahead, judge me...but at least I am clean! :-)

So yeah...the no shower thing. I had to suck it up and be okay with it. The last thing I wanted was to throw a tantrum in front of these guys and look like a princess. I can pick and chose my battles and this shower battle I decided was not worth fighting, so I made peace with it. But the "trying to brush my teeth in a public women's bathroom" is a whole different story. The cabin did not have a bathroom attached to it, it was made up of a small living room and two small bedrooms with bunk beds (and no doors, just curtains).

I woke up Sunday morning all tired and groggy and achy. The night before I had shared the bottom twin bunk with my ex-boo. Of course we both thought it was silly to sleep in both beds separately. No, we did not have a conversation about, it's just one of those things that you both "know" and don't need to talk about.

So I made my way to the public women's bathroom that morning a couple hundred yards down the road from the cabin. I knew it was going to be a challenge to wash my face and brush my teeth in bathroom sink. I thought it was going good until a few girls came in as I was attempting to wash my face. I'm sure they were wondering why this random girl was doing and where she spent the night. One of the girls made a comment and I just looked at her and laughed and said "Desperate times calls for desperate measures" lol. 

P.S Don't drink dirty sink water...it tastes like raw metal going down your throat.

Another thing I discovered was that maybe all this time when I thought I had no athletic ability I was MAYBE wrong. I learned that if you throw a football to me in short distance, I will actually catch it. The guys and I tossed around a football for awhile.

Now this part is kind of embarrassing to admit. One of the guys was kind of cute in that "you look cute when I first saw you but as soon as you open your mouth I take it all back" kind of way. And I only say this because if I was single and totally into guys like him then I would probably go all goo goo ga ga over him. But not to worry girls, I had no intention of doing anything of that sort. I was perfectly happy with my man, and I wouldn't trade him for the world. But eye candy is eye candy and sometimes you catch yourself in a thought bubble and it burst that exact moment.

While we were playing catch with the football eyecandy and I ran into each other and I caught myself in my head saying "You can run into me anytime, I won't object" lol. But of course it was just an innocent thought and nothing else. I actually felt horrible even thinking it in my head because right across from me was my boo and to even have that cross my mind killed me a little inside and I was mad at myself.

We moved on to playing Frisbee later on in the day, and I kid you not when I say this...but I actually broke a nail trying to catch that darn Frisbee. A nail! A nail I was trying to so hard to grow! Of course I would be the one to break a nail playing any sort of contact sport. But I am not that stupid to leave the game because of my nail casualty, plus if I left then it would be an odd number of people playing in teams. So you can only imagine my relief  when more of his friends showed up. YES! It was a perfect opportunity to escape with a legit excuse! So of I went back to the cabin to "refresh" and watch the boys play. Trust me, they were much better off without me.

Funny while I was watching them play from the deck my ex-boo and I exchanged glances and he blew a kiss at me. I waved and blew a kiss back at him only to realize that at that exact moment one of his friends also waved at me and I prayed to God and hoped that his friend didn't think I was blowing a kiss at him. Because that would be totally awkward and shit like this ONLY happens to me!

So the rest of the weekend I refrained from doing anything that would cause mix signals or get myself in trouble with myself..or anyone else.