So here I am on another Saturday night, and against my better judgment I found myself at a desi cultural event with my aunt, her kids and the the ghosts of ex-boyfriends past.
I don't usually want to go to these cultural gatherings where there is food and jewelry for sale and musical entertainment. However tonight I was home all alone with no plans. So when my aunt called me up and asked if I wanted to go I said yes. I think even she was surprised that I agreed to go with them.
Within 15 minutes I had to get ready to be picked up. I decided I wanted Nikki Minaj type bright magenta lipstick. I chose my outfit from that. I tried on three shalwar kameezs before I decided red was more my color. I quickly took off the pink and put red lipstick over it. I figured it could work. My hair wasn't done in any particular manner. It was up in a bun all day long so I put it down and ran brush through it. After all who would I possibly run into at this gathering that mattered? As I was touching up my makeup from 5 hours ago I looked at my eyebrows and thought jeez, I guess I should have gotten them done earlier today when I had the chance. Oh well. No biggie. Not like there would be any one worth impressing.
Fast forward to the event. As I am walking into this community center I half wonder if my ex-boyfriend from 3 years ago would be there. I met him once at this very event when we first starting going out. He has a wife now and if she is in this country maybe this is the kind of even they would both be at. None of this went through my head as I was getting ready to come here. However as I am walking in these thoughts are going through my head, when suddenly.....there he is to my left............with a girl next to him.
My stomach turned inside out and upside down and I was shocked. I didn't know how to react or what to do with myself. By now 10 seconds had passed and he has seen me, although I tried to do a 180 turn so my back would be towards him but really how long could I keep this up? I turn myself around and there he was. We never made any direct eye contact but at times I could feel eyes starring at me.
A little history lesson: I dated this guy for almost a year, it was a horrible relationship and took me 9 months to figure out he was wrong for me. He never told me he was getting married and was seeing girls behind my back. Went overseas got a wife, and that was the end of that. If life could give us a delete button for relationships, this would be my delete option. It was also my first real heartbreak.
To make matters worse my aunt's friend seemed to know the ex's wife. They spent the entire time together. I disappeared in the bathroom for a little bit, touched up my make up, lipstick and checked myself to make sure I looked a little better than how I was picturing myself to look like. In my head I thought I looked like a disheveled girl.
Doesn't every girl wonder what it would be like if you ever have the unfortunate pleasure of running into your ex? You KNOW you want to look your best so he can look at you and think of what he's missing out on. Last night I finally understood what Carrie Bradshaw was talking about in that one episode of Sex and the City when she was freaking out about running into Aiden after their breakup. I get why Carrie was such a hot mess.
You try looking normal in a room full of brown people while really on the inside you are a hot mess. All you really wanna do is go to a corner and cry (because your embarrassed of the way you look, not because he's with another girl). But all you can do is stay calm and cool and pretend everything is normal.
At one point I saw the wife sitting alone without the asshole. For a brief second I contemplated going up to her. But what would I say? Hi, I am your husband's ex-girlfriend? I am the girl he left to go off and marry you. And at one point he actually texted me after you guys got married to tell he how horrible the sex was (no joke!).
I wanted to tell her I can relate to you. I WAS you a few years ago. He probably emotionally abuses you and makes you think everything is your fault. I feel sorry for you because you have to deal with him and his crazy mother. That is one messed up family you married into. And you probably had to no say in it.
And yet I didn't say anything. I just walked away from her and them and continued on with my evening. Which was about to get more interesting.
At one point I saw the wife sitting alone without the asshole. For a brief second I contemplated going up to her. But what would I say? Hi, I am your husband's ex-girlfriend? I am the girl he left to go off and marry you. And at one point he actually texted me after you guys got married to tell he how horrible the sex was (no joke!).
I wanted to tell her I can relate to you. I WAS you a few years ago. He probably emotionally abuses you and makes you think everything is your fault. I feel sorry for you because you have to deal with him and his crazy mother. That is one messed up family you married into. And you probably had to no say in it.
And yet I didn't say anything. I just walked away from her and them and continued on with my evening. Which was about to get more interesting.
As if running into your ex-bf wasn't bad enough an hour later when I had finally calmed myself down I was roaming the crowded halls of this community center I recognized a face I hadn't seen in almost a year. Here was another guy from my past. But he wasn't a boyfriend from a past relationship. This guy was someone I met last year who I was trying to get to know. I told myself I needed to expand my brown circle of friends and through a series of communications we started talking. We had met for coffee and cheesecake once. We were going to go to dinner however I cancelled the last minute. You see, that particular day my friend was trying to convince to come see her in Baltimore and spend the weekend with her. I was sold. It didn't take much to convince me. It was an easy choice, spend an evening with a stranger or one of my best friends? Helllo friend of course!
I caught him on gchat and 5 hours before we were set to met for dinner I told him I could not make it, that my friend needed my help and I needed to to Baltimore.
Here he was approaching me. I tried to look away but it was too late. He was the one who came up to me. I smiled and said hi. What else is a girl to do? We spoke and I felt the need to apologize again for my rude behavior for cancelling on dinner. He said it was no big deal but I knew he was judging me. He remembered exactly why I cancelled on him. Turns out he was here at this event helping a friend who was running this show. Before we parted ways I felt the need to say "Listen, I know you may not believe me but we should really get some coffee or something, and I promise I won't flake this time". He smiled and said okay.
He was probably laughing in his head thinking $10 bucks she won't follow through this time. I felt bad. Like really bad. This was a good guy. He did not seem like the type who wanted to get to know a girl just to get in her pants. I always meant to make other plans with him. But one thing led to another and I never really got around to it. I have a friend who till this day scolds me for cancelling on dinner with him.
So maybe I am a flake sometimes.
I picked up what was left of my self-worth and headed towards the bathroom again. I noticed my red lipstick had faded back to pink lipstick and this time I really noticed my eyebrows.
Dear god, why didn't I get my eyebrows done when I had the chance!
As I exited the bathroom I ran into a family friend. She asked me where my mother was and I told her she was visiting the motherland.
"Oh, to find you a husband?"........
She caught me off guard. What was I supposed to say to that?
So I guess at 25 years old this is what my life has come to on Saturday nights.
Running into people who have screwed you and the ones you screwed over.
Memo to self: Always dress to impress. You never know who you will end up running into.
I caught him on gchat and 5 hours before we were set to met for dinner I told him I could not make it, that my friend needed my help and I needed to to Baltimore.
Here he was approaching me. I tried to look away but it was too late. He was the one who came up to me. I smiled and said hi. What else is a girl to do? We spoke and I felt the need to apologize again for my rude behavior for cancelling on dinner. He said it was no big deal but I knew he was judging me. He remembered exactly why I cancelled on him. Turns out he was here at this event helping a friend who was running this show. Before we parted ways I felt the need to say "Listen, I know you may not believe me but we should really get some coffee or something, and I promise I won't flake this time". He smiled and said okay.
He was probably laughing in his head thinking $10 bucks she won't follow through this time. I felt bad. Like really bad. This was a good guy. He did not seem like the type who wanted to get to know a girl just to get in her pants. I always meant to make other plans with him. But one thing led to another and I never really got around to it. I have a friend who till this day scolds me for cancelling on dinner with him.
So maybe I am a flake sometimes.
I picked up what was left of my self-worth and headed towards the bathroom again. I noticed my red lipstick had faded back to pink lipstick and this time I really noticed my eyebrows.
Dear god, why didn't I get my eyebrows done when I had the chance!
As I exited the bathroom I ran into a family friend. She asked me where my mother was and I told her she was visiting the motherland.
"Oh, to find you a husband?"........
She caught me off guard. What was I supposed to say to that?
So I guess at 25 years old this is what my life has come to on Saturday nights.
Running into people who have screwed you and the ones you screwed over.
Memo to self: Always dress to impress. You never know who you will end up running into.
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