Every time I tell someone what happens in my life they always make a sarcastic comment about how my life should be reality show. No Duh! That's what I have been saying for years. The events that happen in my life or least the WAY it happens is not scripted and the tagline to the first season of my fake reality show should be titled: Warning: This really happened.
Where to begin. I was minding my own business Saturday night when all of a sudden I see a text message from someone. It wasn't until I opened up the message I notice who it was from and immediately my heart sank. It was from the most recent ex-frog of course. There was no real substance to it. And I laughed a bit inside for two reasons: Reason #1 being had he NOT texted me that day it would have been 1 whole month without any communication from him and I was perfectly fine with it. This is how it should be. However he could not even last 30 days. Reason #2 this was funny to me is because he was the one in our very last communication with each other who told me what unless I could get my act together that perhaps we should not remain in touch anymore. Point noted, I agreed with the no contact part but I guess he was the one who needed to get his act together because clearly he has proven over and over (and over) again that he is not a man of his word. The one thing I asked you to do was NOT contact me and that is the one thing you have failed at over and over again. I was really tempted to write to him: You keep this up and you will read about it in my blog and I know how much you love reading about yourself here. But the adult in me took over and refrained from saying that. And if he's clever enough and curious enough I am sure he is reading this right now.
So what happens next? I am on a rainy drive back from dropping my sister off at college when I start receiving text messages from two of my ex-boyfriends at the same time. What do I do, do I focus on driving in the rain or read the messages and write back? Okay, so I have been occasionally known to text and drive (everybody does it). And in my defense traffic wasn't moving at all and I was practically at a stand still. Who are these two people? the Ex-frog and Mr. NYC of course. The ex-frog just basically wrote to me but he was talking to himself when he proclaimed that be probably shouldn't have texted, called and then texted me again and that maybe it was time to delete my number of his phone. Brilliant thinking: would you like a cookie for that? Or do you want the invisible helmet back that you "gave" me in our last email exchange with each other?
The NYC saga is continuous now and I have been having a lot of fun with rejecting his "offers". This time around Mr. NYC is trying to convince me to come see him Labor Day Weekend and sighting reasons I should go see him. He's so determined to see me that he even proposed making a 5 hour drive to down to me if I was unwilling to go to him. Trust me I found this very amusing - partly because one of the reasons he told me for us breaking up is the whole distance thing and how he really hated making a 5 hour trip down. What happened to that Mr. NYC? Need I remind you of that conversation? It just kept getting more amusing hour by hour. Basically I just wanted to milk this situation for what it was worth and have some fun so I told him to tell me that he misses me and get it over with it already so he can get it out of his system lol.
And in case anyone is wondering - no one is going to see anyone. Having some innocent fun is one thing but I am at a point in my life where all this needs to stop. As of last night at midnight his great big epiphany was that we both want to see each other and we should just "make it happen". Haha, okay truth be told, I have been waiting for the satisfaction of rejecting him for a long time and nothing gives me more pleasure than simply saying NO. Plus he knows what is going on in my life right now and what he is suggesting is just plain wrong.
On a strange side note today I also found out that Mr. I Smoke Six Packs A Day with a messy bathroom got married. I was cleaning out my Facebook messages and apparently there is a feature where your previous deleted messages get stored as "archived messages". Yes I know...sometimes I just bring it upon myself but seriously though you know I had to click on his profile picture and see who that girl was. I never said I was proud of it :-)
I really hope Mrs. I Smoke Six Packs A Day saw his messy bathroom and filthy house before she said yes!
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
I Promise This Is Not A Sermon
Seeing as though how it is Ramadan, I thought I'd take some time to reflect on the idea of moving on and letting go of past resentment.
Recently I found out that my first boyfriend has a three month old child now. Going along with the theme of how small this world is, I came to know that my aunt had dinner at his house a few months ago. He was the one I ran into at the festival back in January and he was with his wife. Turns out my aunt's best friend is someone who related to his wife and that is how my aunt and her family ended up at their house for dinner.
The first thought that came to my mind was I cannot believe he is a father. Then I took some time to think about it. I figured maybe this is life's way of showing him what a meaningful experience it can be to have a daughter and raise her and perhaps it will teach him a thing or two about respecting girls. I hope he is a better father than he ever was a boyfriend or a man in general. I understand my opinion about him will always be a little biased given our past history but I truly do hope that having a child will change his ways (as I have always heard bringing a child into this world can change people in ways they never knew). Baby girl Ayza, I wish you all the best in life.
And it took me almost two years to finally let go of the resentment I felt toward Mr. NYC for breaking up with me. I finally understand why it wasn't meant to be. It caught me off guard when it happened because it was so sudden. And in the past two years when a random text or a birthday wish would come along I would find myself writing back a snide comment here and there. I rememeber one specific incident last year he texted me while I was boarding a flight to visit my friend in Ohio. I don't recall the exact context of the exchange but he jokingly asked me to bring back a shotglass souvineer from Ohio (because that was our thing, he has a shotglass collection and I always added to his collection if I went somewhere), but I retaliated with something along the lines of go book a flight to the midwest and get it yourself. He took it very well, didn't stoop down to my level and just let me have my moment.
It's a liberating feeling being able to let go of something and see someone for who they are. Don't get me wrong, he is an ass on some levels, but at least now I know we can't be together. Because going back to that relationship would mean sleepless nights for me and a constant push and pull of are we or aren't we together? Because let me tell you, the weekend we had that exclusive talk, I was up all night not knowing where his head was. The next morning I had a 5K Breast Cancer Walk to run. Looking back now this is so sad, but the most exciting moment was that morning after the run during brunch when he finally decided to respond to my email. But you get my drift right? A relationship should not be this much hard work, neither person should be pulling teeth or laying awake in the middle of the night wondering what the hell is going on.
He is not great boyfriend material but he is a fun person to hangout with. Granted I can only take him in doses. He doesn't know it but I have forgiven him, or maybe internally I have forgiven myself for holding on to the anger and resentment. It was more of a disappointment of what wasn't then the idea of wanting to be together.
And maybe even today when I talk about him people will wonder if I have lingering feelings or an itch for something that once was. But truth be told, as much as we exchange awkward text messages, bicker back and forth, and put each other in our places....if we were in a relationship and doing that - he would drive me nuts. And I already have enough sleeping problems as is.
Sometimes you just have to let go in order to continue living. Afterall, the world didn't stop moving after each heartbreak. It was me who stopped spinning while everyone else continued their lives.
From time to time my cousin sends me links and reminders to help me motivate myself in my everyday life and today I shall leave you with a quote from one of her links:
"Every moment is a choice, and every day is a consequence of all the choices you have made. To achieve different consequences, make different choices"
Recently I found out that my first boyfriend has a three month old child now. Going along with the theme of how small this world is, I came to know that my aunt had dinner at his house a few months ago. He was the one I ran into at the festival back in January and he was with his wife. Turns out my aunt's best friend is someone who related to his wife and that is how my aunt and her family ended up at their house for dinner.
The first thought that came to my mind was I cannot believe he is a father. Then I took some time to think about it. I figured maybe this is life's way of showing him what a meaningful experience it can be to have a daughter and raise her and perhaps it will teach him a thing or two about respecting girls. I hope he is a better father than he ever was a boyfriend or a man in general. I understand my opinion about him will always be a little biased given our past history but I truly do hope that having a child will change his ways (as I have always heard bringing a child into this world can change people in ways they never knew). Baby girl Ayza, I wish you all the best in life.
And it took me almost two years to finally let go of the resentment I felt toward Mr. NYC for breaking up with me. I finally understand why it wasn't meant to be. It caught me off guard when it happened because it was so sudden. And in the past two years when a random text or a birthday wish would come along I would find myself writing back a snide comment here and there. I rememeber one specific incident last year he texted me while I was boarding a flight to visit my friend in Ohio. I don't recall the exact context of the exchange but he jokingly asked me to bring back a shotglass souvineer from Ohio (because that was our thing, he has a shotglass collection and I always added to his collection if I went somewhere), but I retaliated with something along the lines of go book a flight to the midwest and get it yourself. He took it very well, didn't stoop down to my level and just let me have my moment.
It's a liberating feeling being able to let go of something and see someone for who they are. Don't get me wrong, he is an ass on some levels, but at least now I know we can't be together. Because going back to that relationship would mean sleepless nights for me and a constant push and pull of are we or aren't we together? Because let me tell you, the weekend we had that exclusive talk, I was up all night not knowing where his head was. The next morning I had a 5K Breast Cancer Walk to run. Looking back now this is so sad, but the most exciting moment was that morning after the run during brunch when he finally decided to respond to my email. But you get my drift right? A relationship should not be this much hard work, neither person should be pulling teeth or laying awake in the middle of the night wondering what the hell is going on.
He is not great boyfriend material but he is a fun person to hangout with. Granted I can only take him in doses. He doesn't know it but I have forgiven him, or maybe internally I have forgiven myself for holding on to the anger and resentment. It was more of a disappointment of what wasn't then the idea of wanting to be together.
And maybe even today when I talk about him people will wonder if I have lingering feelings or an itch for something that once was. But truth be told, as much as we exchange awkward text messages, bicker back and forth, and put each other in our places....if we were in a relationship and doing that - he would drive me nuts. And I already have enough sleeping problems as is.
Sometimes you just have to let go in order to continue living. Afterall, the world didn't stop moving after each heartbreak. It was me who stopped spinning while everyone else continued their lives.
From time to time my cousin sends me links and reminders to help me motivate myself in my everyday life and today I shall leave you with a quote from one of her links:
"Every moment is a choice, and every day is a consequence of all the choices you have made. To achieve different consequences, make different choices"
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
I Think It's Finally Happened, My Parents Are Scared Of Me...
For the last week or so I have been observing an odd behavior from my father. It's as if he has taken over the mother role and when it comes to the question of marrying off his eldest daughter, it seems to me that he has completely lost it. I'm not calling my father crazy, I love the man to death and I have lots of respect for him. But for some reason when he wants to talk about this "tense" subject with me he has resorted to phone calls and text messages as a way of communication with me. Mind you, we live in the same house.
Observation #1: Last week he called me on the phone home to tell me that he wanted me to take a look at a email exchange between him and his friend where they talk about a potential new suitor. I was confused. Not because the topic of my marriage had come up again (this wasn't a surprise). I was surprised because before this phone call I had spent a good two hours in the house and he was there, my dad. I walked around him, in front of him, even talked to him. Why didn't he mention it then? Instead he decided to call me once my mom and him were on their way to the mosque.
I decided not to think too much into it, just brush it off as nothing and move on. And then it happened again a week later.
Observation #2: Last night my dad and I both made it home at the exact same time. Again, we were in the house for a good hour together before he and my mom left for the mosque again. This time I had missed his call because I was per-occupied elsewhere. When I emerged from the bathroom my sister (in an annoying voice) shouts at me to call back dad. I was wondering what was going on because I had just spoken to my dad 5 minutes ago when I gave him the keys to my car. So what could this be about? Oh no I wondered, he opened up my trunk and saw what a mess it was inside and now he's called to yell at me about it.
But no, he called me to tell me that this new suitor's uncle had called him earlier today and they spoke briefly and now it was up to to me how I wanted to proceed. Really dad, it's up to me? How about we stop having these conversations on the phone everytime you're on the way to the mosque and you be my dad and talk to me in person when we are all home?
I just didn't get it. Was it me? It probably was. He's probably to afraid to approach this topic with me in person nowadays since it's been a tough issue and I normally get very defensive about it. I think I've done almost everything except break valuable china at this point when this subject comes up (half joking of course..ha..ha..ha).
I guess it is in a way humorous. Or maybe I am thinking too much into this and we can't find enough hours in the day to discuss this in person? I mean we are fasting and between Iftar and rushing to get to the mosque in time for prayer it is hard for us to communicate in person with important matters.
But here's where I get the last laugh: My dad left it up to me to decide how I wanted to proceed. As in he has this guy's email address and phone number and now I have to initiate contact. He wants us to talk and see if I even want this.
Wahhh....why me? Why do I have to make the first move? Double Wahhhh. Ugh I hate being a girl sometimes. And for those of you know me, I am sure you can imagine me saying this in person.
I just had to get that out of my system. I am all better now :-)
Alright...here we go...now if only I can find pad of paper of the series of questions I need to ask this dude. The first one being, does this conversation happen in English or my native tongue?
Observation #1: Last week he called me on the phone home to tell me that he wanted me to take a look at a email exchange between him and his friend where they talk about a potential new suitor. I was confused. Not because the topic of my marriage had come up again (this wasn't a surprise). I was surprised because before this phone call I had spent a good two hours in the house and he was there, my dad. I walked around him, in front of him, even talked to him. Why didn't he mention it then? Instead he decided to call me once my mom and him were on their way to the mosque.
I decided not to think too much into it, just brush it off as nothing and move on. And then it happened again a week later.
Observation #2: Last night my dad and I both made it home at the exact same time. Again, we were in the house for a good hour together before he and my mom left for the mosque again. This time I had missed his call because I was per-occupied elsewhere. When I emerged from the bathroom my sister (in an annoying voice) shouts at me to call back dad. I was wondering what was going on because I had just spoken to my dad 5 minutes ago when I gave him the keys to my car. So what could this be about? Oh no I wondered, he opened up my trunk and saw what a mess it was inside and now he's called to yell at me about it.
But no, he called me to tell me that this new suitor's uncle had called him earlier today and they spoke briefly and now it was up to to me how I wanted to proceed. Really dad, it's up to me? How about we stop having these conversations on the phone everytime you're on the way to the mosque and you be my dad and talk to me in person when we are all home?
I just didn't get it. Was it me? It probably was. He's probably to afraid to approach this topic with me in person nowadays since it's been a tough issue and I normally get very defensive about it. I think I've done almost everything except break valuable china at this point when this subject comes up (half joking of course..ha..ha..ha).
I guess it is in a way humorous. Or maybe I am thinking too much into this and we can't find enough hours in the day to discuss this in person? I mean we are fasting and between Iftar and rushing to get to the mosque in time for prayer it is hard for us to communicate in person with important matters.
But here's where I get the last laugh: My dad left it up to me to decide how I wanted to proceed. As in he has this guy's email address and phone number and now I have to initiate contact. He wants us to talk and see if I even want this.
Wahhh....why me? Why do I have to make the first move? Double Wahhhh. Ugh I hate being a girl sometimes. And for those of you know me, I am sure you can imagine me saying this in person.
I just had to get that out of my system. I am all better now :-)
Alright...here we go...now if only I can find pad of paper of the series of questions I need to ask this dude. The first one being, does this conversation happen in English or my native tongue?
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Car Accidents and Karma
My co-worker and I were talking about car accidents and bad luck which made me remember the worst car accident of my life.
It was a cold Sunday morning in January of 2011. I had just picked up this guy from his hotel whom I has recently started seeing. We met on this desi matrimonial website. He had driven some hours just to come spend some time with me that weekend.
The night before we had gone to a Mystery Theater Dinner. You know, those "Who Done It" dinners where the guests play along with the cast. I had told him to plan our date and I was impressed a Mystery Dinner Theater thing is what he had in mind. Ironically enough, my date turned out to be the killer. Lol. Sidenote: I should have known this just the beginning of my of out of the ordinary experiences with this guy.
On the way back to the his hotel, since my car was at the hotel where he was staying (we took one car to dinner) he asked me drive his car since he was tired. I knew this was a mistake. I don't like driving other people's cars. Usually it's because I don't trust myself with other peoples cars. Of course I drove cautiously trying to avoid any potential disaster that my klutzy self could cause. So once we made it back to the hotel in one piece I was happy.
The next morning is when the drama unfolded. I had gone to pick him up for brunch. I decided I would drive since a) he did not know the area very well and b) he drove us around the day before. We were having a conversation when suddenly at a green light I noticed the car in front of me was stopped. I made a quick judgment call and slammed on the breaks. I thought we were safe until seconds later I heard a crash. Great, the car behind me ending up rear ending me and in turn I hit the stopped car in front of me.
I wanted to cry. I was five minutes away from home and I was in a car with a guy I barely knew and I was in a car accident. The first thought that went through my mind? Karma is a B and my parents had no idea I just spent the morning with a guy. Let alone the car accident report that is going to to go to my insurance company is going to list all the passengers in my car. My life as I know it is officially over. My parents are going to kill me...how am I going to explain this one?
I guess looking back now it's a funny story to tell but when you were going through the motions of it - yeah not so much. I remember he was trying to be nice because he saw I was jolted and offered to write down all my information when the cop showed up and we exchanged info with the other drivers. In an effort to hold back tears I somehow managed to crack a smile because this dude who I just met yesterday in person didn't even know my date of birth of how to spell my last name and here he was helping me exchange my personal information to the cops.
When you have to sneak around and date guys because you know your family would not approve of your lifestyle your natural reaction is to panic when your two worlds come colliding. I don't think my parents ever found out there who the person in the car with me was. I think I had brushed it off as "it was a friend or a co-worker" or something to that extent. I took care of all the dealings with the insurance company so no one else had to know about my little secret.
For the longest time I felt so bad even though I didn't cause the accident, I felt horrible that this how our first encounter ended, with a car accident and that he was a part of it. He knew I took it too hard and he tried to calm me down. Yeah, that didn't work.
If that wasn't bad enough, that night when he had left my friend called me. She said wanted to talk about the "big elephant in the room". I was wondering how she found out about my car accident since I hadn't had a chance to talk about it yet. Well it turns out that she called to see how I was feeling knowing my ex-bf had just gotten married a month before.
Apparently she discovered this news on Facebook. You know, the dude who went back home and got married. I wasn't aware yet because he had blocked me on Facebook.
LOL, oh the irony. If she only knew the day I had been having. That wedding was the least of my worries that day.
P.S That guy who was involved in the crash with me - was none other than Mr. NYC.
Yup, that was our first encounter. And to this day he doesn't let me forget about the car accident!!! He even brought it up when I saw him last month.
It was a cold Sunday morning in January of 2011. I had just picked up this guy from his hotel whom I has recently started seeing. We met on this desi matrimonial website. He had driven some hours just to come spend some time with me that weekend.
The night before we had gone to a Mystery Theater Dinner. You know, those "Who Done It" dinners where the guests play along with the cast. I had told him to plan our date and I was impressed a Mystery Dinner Theater thing is what he had in mind. Ironically enough, my date turned out to be the killer. Lol. Sidenote: I should have known this just the beginning of my of out of the ordinary experiences with this guy.
On the way back to the his hotel, since my car was at the hotel where he was staying (we took one car to dinner) he asked me drive his car since he was tired. I knew this was a mistake. I don't like driving other people's cars. Usually it's because I don't trust myself with other peoples cars. Of course I drove cautiously trying to avoid any potential disaster that my klutzy self could cause. So once we made it back to the hotel in one piece I was happy.
The next morning is when the drama unfolded. I had gone to pick him up for brunch. I decided I would drive since a) he did not know the area very well and b) he drove us around the day before. We were having a conversation when suddenly at a green light I noticed the car in front of me was stopped. I made a quick judgment call and slammed on the breaks. I thought we were safe until seconds later I heard a crash. Great, the car behind me ending up rear ending me and in turn I hit the stopped car in front of me.
I wanted to cry. I was five minutes away from home and I was in a car with a guy I barely knew and I was in a car accident. The first thought that went through my mind? Karma is a B and my parents had no idea I just spent the morning with a guy. Let alone the car accident report that is going to to go to my insurance company is going to list all the passengers in my car. My life as I know it is officially over. My parents are going to kill me...how am I going to explain this one?
I guess looking back now it's a funny story to tell but when you were going through the motions of it - yeah not so much. I remember he was trying to be nice because he saw I was jolted and offered to write down all my information when the cop showed up and we exchanged info with the other drivers. In an effort to hold back tears I somehow managed to crack a smile because this dude who I just met yesterday in person didn't even know my date of birth of how to spell my last name and here he was helping me exchange my personal information to the cops.
When you have to sneak around and date guys because you know your family would not approve of your lifestyle your natural reaction is to panic when your two worlds come colliding. I don't think my parents ever found out there who the person in the car with me was. I think I had brushed it off as "it was a friend or a co-worker" or something to that extent. I took care of all the dealings with the insurance company so no one else had to know about my little secret.
For the longest time I felt so bad even though I didn't cause the accident, I felt horrible that this how our first encounter ended, with a car accident and that he was a part of it. He knew I took it too hard and he tried to calm me down. Yeah, that didn't work.
If that wasn't bad enough, that night when he had left my friend called me. She said wanted to talk about the "big elephant in the room". I was wondering how she found out about my car accident since I hadn't had a chance to talk about it yet. Well it turns out that she called to see how I was feeling knowing my ex-bf had just gotten married a month before.
Apparently she discovered this news on Facebook. You know, the dude who went back home and got married. I wasn't aware yet because he had blocked me on Facebook.
LOL, oh the irony. If she only knew the day I had been having. That wedding was the least of my worries that day.
P.S That guy who was involved in the crash with me - was none other than Mr. NYC.
Yup, that was our first encounter. And to this day he doesn't let me forget about the car accident!!! He even brought it up when I saw him last month.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
"The Hardest Part of Breaking Up Is Getting Back Your Stuff"
I already wrote about keeping vs throwing away things associated with former frogs. So it's only appropriate I also write about getting things that belong to me.
To my very first boyfriend, the one who is less than the scum on the bottom of your shoe...the one who went back to the motherland and "forgot" to tell me he was getting married; I would still like my auxiliary cable back. I did not give it to you...you stole it from me. No let me rephrase, I let you borrow it one day and when we went our separate ways you decided I had given it to you so you decided you did not want to return it.
WTF?
Don't worry though, it's not about the money behind buying another one (it was replaced several years ago), but it's the idea that you wouldn't let it go. You were too cheap to buy yourself one, so you took and kept mine. Ugh just thinking about it still makes me a little mad. I remember last year when I saw you on a random trip to Harris Teeter by the produce section I wanted to throw cucumbers at you for being so stupid. Actually, I probably wanted to throw cucumbers at myself more for being the stupid person for ever thinking we belonged together.
The next one I am okay with. In fact I didn't even realize that you had it until recently. See, a few years ago my friend recommended a book called "Lone Survivor" by former Navy Seal Marcus Luttrell and a personal account of what happened during "Operation Redwings" (you can wiki it if you want to know what that's all about, but it was a tear-jerker). I was seeing Mr. NYC at the time, and had mentioned it to him that I was reading this book. He mentioned he heard about it and wanted to read it too. So what did I do? Since I was going to be seeing him that following week I decided I would speed read through the book and offered to let him borrow it.
Once we broke up I had forgotten about. I had already read it and I didn't really want it back. I wasn't attached to it or anything. But a few weeks ago when I saw him I found a different book on his coffee table which reminded me of MY BOOK. I chucked inside. I didn't ask him about it...no that would be the normal thing to do. Instead my eyes shifted to his bookshelf to see if he still had it. Was I going to ask for it back? Probably not. But I still wanted to see if he kept it. I didn't find it, but it's funny because in the between the time we broke up until a few weeks ago, I had completely forgotten that I let him borrow the book. I am pretty sure he never read it. I think he's still "reading" Benjamin Franklin's autobiography he mentioned on our first few dates he was reading at the time. LOL.
The next item on the list has been a long drown out saga for the last few weeks. I left my beloved e-reader at my ex-boyfriend's house. Remember how I do the dumbest things at the worse possible moments? Yeah, this was one of them. I forgot I left my e-reader in his overnight bag at the cabin. I was too tired to remember it was still in there when I left to come back home. Then we went our separate ways and I've been told either to forget about it completely or CALMLY ask for it back. Staying calm has never been something I have been able to do. One of my friends even offered to buy me a new one so I wouldn't have to contact him about it.
I mustered up some courage a few weeks ago and emailed him to ship it back to me - but really send it to one of my friends. I don't want to receive anything from that person. I even offered to reimburse the shipping cost. He took it the wrong way and got offended? Really? Like I was trying to do the right think since it was my mistake leaving it there. Get off your high horse and realize it was the right thing to do, me offer to pay for shipping. The other day I got a random text stating it was finally shipped. Well thank you for doing that, looks like it's finally June 28th, 2013 on your watch.
Bonus story: I thought I left my favorite pair of earrings in NYC last month. I thought I had packed them but I wasn't 100% sure. I had a slight mini-panic attack from Mr. NYC's apt to the train station. He asked me twice to do a final walk through and make sure I took everything. I lied and said I checked and left nothing. Then touched my ears in the car and realized I might have forgotten my swarovskis. I was mortified he'd find my earrings on his coffee table when he returned home. So you can imagine how happy I was when I unpacked when I got home and there they were in my little jewelery box. THANK GOD! No embarrassing phone call to make or text to send. And that folks is reason #78945 we aren't together.....
I'm telling you my short term memory is going to get me in trouble in one day. I can never remember what happened 10-15 minutes after it's happened.
To my very first boyfriend, the one who is less than the scum on the bottom of your shoe...the one who went back to the motherland and "forgot" to tell me he was getting married; I would still like my auxiliary cable back. I did not give it to you...you stole it from me. No let me rephrase, I let you borrow it one day and when we went our separate ways you decided I had given it to you so you decided you did not want to return it.
WTF?
Don't worry though, it's not about the money behind buying another one (it was replaced several years ago), but it's the idea that you wouldn't let it go. You were too cheap to buy yourself one, so you took and kept mine. Ugh just thinking about it still makes me a little mad. I remember last year when I saw you on a random trip to Harris Teeter by the produce section I wanted to throw cucumbers at you for being so stupid. Actually, I probably wanted to throw cucumbers at myself more for being the stupid person for ever thinking we belonged together.
The next one I am okay with. In fact I didn't even realize that you had it until recently. See, a few years ago my friend recommended a book called "Lone Survivor" by former Navy Seal Marcus Luttrell and a personal account of what happened during "Operation Redwings" (you can wiki it if you want to know what that's all about, but it was a tear-jerker). I was seeing Mr. NYC at the time, and had mentioned it to him that I was reading this book. He mentioned he heard about it and wanted to read it too. So what did I do? Since I was going to be seeing him that following week I decided I would speed read through the book and offered to let him borrow it.
Once we broke up I had forgotten about. I had already read it and I didn't really want it back. I wasn't attached to it or anything. But a few weeks ago when I saw him I found a different book on his coffee table which reminded me of MY BOOK. I chucked inside. I didn't ask him about it...no that would be the normal thing to do. Instead my eyes shifted to his bookshelf to see if he still had it. Was I going to ask for it back? Probably not. But I still wanted to see if he kept it. I didn't find it, but it's funny because in the between the time we broke up until a few weeks ago, I had completely forgotten that I let him borrow the book. I am pretty sure he never read it. I think he's still "reading" Benjamin Franklin's autobiography he mentioned on our first few dates he was reading at the time. LOL.
The next item on the list has been a long drown out saga for the last few weeks. I left my beloved e-reader at my ex-boyfriend's house. Remember how I do the dumbest things at the worse possible moments? Yeah, this was one of them. I forgot I left my e-reader in his overnight bag at the cabin. I was too tired to remember it was still in there when I left to come back home. Then we went our separate ways and I've been told either to forget about it completely or CALMLY ask for it back. Staying calm has never been something I have been able to do. One of my friends even offered to buy me a new one so I wouldn't have to contact him about it.
I mustered up some courage a few weeks ago and emailed him to ship it back to me - but really send it to one of my friends. I don't want to receive anything from that person. I even offered to reimburse the shipping cost. He took it the wrong way and got offended? Really? Like I was trying to do the right think since it was my mistake leaving it there. Get off your high horse and realize it was the right thing to do, me offer to pay for shipping. The other day I got a random text stating it was finally shipped. Well thank you for doing that, looks like it's finally June 28th, 2013 on your watch.
Bonus story: I thought I left my favorite pair of earrings in NYC last month. I thought I had packed them but I wasn't 100% sure. I had a slight mini-panic attack from Mr. NYC's apt to the train station. He asked me twice to do a final walk through and make sure I took everything. I lied and said I checked and left nothing. Then touched my ears in the car and realized I might have forgotten my swarovskis. I was mortified he'd find my earrings on his coffee table when he returned home. So you can imagine how happy I was when I unpacked when I got home and there they were in my little jewelery box. THANK GOD! No embarrassing phone call to make or text to send. And that folks is reason #78945 we aren't together.....
I'm telling you my short term memory is going to get me in trouble in one day. I can never remember what happened 10-15 minutes after it's happened.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Dear Phone Stalker, Please Stop Calling My House
I kid you not. My so-called stalker has resurfaced. I don't know how I never wrote about him. It all started late last year. Our house phone would get mysterious phone calls from a guy (who mostly sounds drunk when he calls) and every time he would ask for me..by my full name!
Of course the first time he called I freaked out because I really did think it was a crazy psycho ex trying to get payback but then my genius self realized that I have never given anyone I have met my home phone number. Why would would I give a potential anyone my home phone number where they could call at anytime and be greeted by my mother or father over the phone?
Never!!!
But this idiot for some reason decided to reek havoc on my life again. He knows my first and last name which makes it harder to identify who he could be. See, like a zillions of other desis out there, I have two names that I go by. Well really I have two first names (yes I know it sounds strange). But apparently this is nothing new to desi life. My first name is what my friends call me, my last name is what my family and their circle of friends call me. Complicated right? Try explaining that to people outside of your family :-)
Anyways, potential stalker dude calls me by both of my names so it's hard for me to tell who the hell this guy is. If he called me what my family and their friends call me then I would assume I know this person through our desi circle of family friends. But no, he threw a curve ball in there by calling me by both names. Still hard to keep up with the name thing? It's okay, you're never going to understand it, so let's just agree to disagree on it.
I was terrified when my dad picked up the phone because I was afraid my dad would yell at me and go on a rant about how good desi girls don't get prank calls from random drunken dudes between the hours of 5pm and 8pm on weekdays. This stalker even yelled at my dad and told him he wanted to talk to me and questioned is my dad was my husband.
Strange right?
Well thankfully neither one of my parents thought this was my fault (thank god), but it still doesn't make this any less embarrassing. These phone calls stopped a few months ago but all of a sudden resurfaced last night. The idiot called 3 times in a row.
I thought we had gotten rid of him or he realized how childish he was being. But no, he decided to grace us with his unwanted presence once again. I'm trying not take it seriously and laugh it off but when someone calls you 3 times non-stop it starts to get a little frightening.
You know you're starting to get paranoid when every time the phone rings you get scared and wonder if it's him. Or maybe the paranoia in me has taken over. It's just a harmless idiot who has nothing better to do with his time...right?
Ramadan is around the corner, you would think people would show some sort of decency around this time of the year. Dear Mr. Virtual Phone Stalker if by some funny chance you are reading this: Please stop, it's not funny. You've given me more on my plate to handle than I can handle on a regular basis. Cut me some slack.
Of course the first time he called I freaked out because I really did think it was a crazy psycho ex trying to get payback but then my genius self realized that I have never given anyone I have met my home phone number. Why would would I give a potential anyone my home phone number where they could call at anytime and be greeted by my mother or father over the phone?
Never!!!
But this idiot for some reason decided to reek havoc on my life again. He knows my first and last name which makes it harder to identify who he could be. See, like a zillions of other desis out there, I have two names that I go by. Well really I have two first names (yes I know it sounds strange). But apparently this is nothing new to desi life. My first name is what my friends call me, my last name is what my family and their circle of friends call me. Complicated right? Try explaining that to people outside of your family :-)
Anyways, potential stalker dude calls me by both of my names so it's hard for me to tell who the hell this guy is. If he called me what my family and their friends call me then I would assume I know this person through our desi circle of family friends. But no, he threw a curve ball in there by calling me by both names. Still hard to keep up with the name thing? It's okay, you're never going to understand it, so let's just agree to disagree on it.
I was terrified when my dad picked up the phone because I was afraid my dad would yell at me and go on a rant about how good desi girls don't get prank calls from random drunken dudes between the hours of 5pm and 8pm on weekdays. This stalker even yelled at my dad and told him he wanted to talk to me and questioned is my dad was my husband.
Strange right?
Well thankfully neither one of my parents thought this was my fault (thank god), but it still doesn't make this any less embarrassing. These phone calls stopped a few months ago but all of a sudden resurfaced last night. The idiot called 3 times in a row.
I thought we had gotten rid of him or he realized how childish he was being. But no, he decided to grace us with his unwanted presence once again. I'm trying not take it seriously and laugh it off but when someone calls you 3 times non-stop it starts to get a little frightening.
You know you're starting to get paranoid when every time the phone rings you get scared and wonder if it's him. Or maybe the paranoia in me has taken over. It's just a harmless idiot who has nothing better to do with his time...right?
Ramadan is around the corner, you would think people would show some sort of decency around this time of the year. Dear Mr. Virtual Phone Stalker if by some funny chance you are reading this: Please stop, it's not funny. You've given me more on my plate to handle than I can handle on a regular basis. Cut me some slack.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
His Milkshake Did Not Bring Me To The Yard
Let me tell you about the time I was scum. Mr. Kentucky might have been my first real suitor, but "Milkshake" was my first real crush. I was 16 when I fell for him, I spent hours and hours daydreaming about him. Then one day I mustered up the courage to tell him I liked him (on AIM nonetheless). I will never forget what his response was...."I am so proud you had the guts to admit that"......yeah. And the rest is history UNTIL a few years later in college during one unforgettable finals week. Yes some people study during finals and others...look for trouble.
It's been so long I can't even remember how this resurfaced, except my friend was taking a class that required her to interview someone in law enforcement. My wheels were turning because I had found out through my mother Milkshake was in the police academy. So I actually called his mother for his phone number (we were all family friends) and asked if my friend could interview him agreed, I was surprised. I think I had convinced myself that we never got closure so I wanted to know what happened a few years ago between us. I needed him to fill in the missing pieces for me. Basically I needed the closure I never got.
The plan was that my friend, Milkshake and I would to meet up at the local coffee shop and conduct this "interview". Of course I had to be there because DUH I was the mutual friend between these two. It was a rainy November evening and it was voting day...my mother had called me to see if I had voted for Governor that day. I lied to her, I told her the lines were long and that's where I was held up. She would kick me out of the house if she knew what was really happening. Thank god the Democrat won, or else I would never forgive myself, after all one vote can make all the difference.
The Starbucks meet up went alright, he wore the most hideous plaid shirt I had ever seen in my life and apparently his adult acne was also beginning to show (maybe it was all the police academy stress?). We kept in touch frequently after that. Some innocent flirtation was happening back and forth. One day during finals week I decided I needed a distraction so I asked him to bring me coffee to the study room where I was "studying". I don't even know why I said it. It may have half been coerced by my friends and the other half all me trying to get a reaction out of him. He was out doing academy work so coffee was out but instead he asked me to dinner the next day...and I reluctantly agreed. I don't know I agreed. I saw the look in my friends' eyes. It was like they all found out they received F's on their finals. Some tried to talk me out of the date, others came home with me that night to plan my outfit for my "date" night. Let's just say no one studied for their finals that night..or the following day.
I wasn't nervous about the date until I got there. I had showed up late (on purpose). I made him wait 15 or 20 minutes. Where did we go? The local "Moe's" next to my house of course. Meaning if my dad decided to go to the grocery store that night he may or may not have seen my car there...with a boy. Yes I know sometimes common sense escapes me. Dinner was alright, he made a fresh comment about how Chipotle was so much better than Moe's. Well then genius why did you suggest Moe's?
After dinner we lurked around the parking lot and he asked me if he could handcuff me. Yes he really said that. Was I supposed to be impressed by that? I knew he had a pair of handcuffs, my virgin ears were not impressed I think I was more scared. I may have laughed and gave him the death stare and said no. Atif Aslam's "Tere Bin" was playing in my cd player when he walked me to my car - that I do remember. I never thanked him for dinner that night. Another common sense malfunction.
We continued talking for weeks and I found out he was not the same person I knew two years back. Of course people change, even I knew that. Turns out he did like me all these years he was just too afraid to say anything back then when I confessed my feelings. Such a coward. He also had a drinking problem and may have been depressed. I didn't know how to go about that. I remember he called me during the Billboard music awards one night and it was a drunk dial at 9pm on a weeknight. One day my friends brought me a flyer for an AA Meeting...to give it to him.
I was mean to him this time around. I knew I was pushing his buttons and treating him unfairly in some ways. Don't worry I wasn't THAT much of a beeyotch. One morning I even called him to apologize for being rude the night before. Actually, I complained to my friend who convinced me I was rude and I needed to say sorry. So she made me write out on a memo pad the exact words I was going to say and I left him a voice email reading that memo word for word. I was a stubborn desi back then. I had too much pride to apologize.
I had ended up in the ER one time and didn't know who to call. I called one of my best friends and when he found out he was hurt I never called him to drive me there. He told me he would be there for me if anything ever happened. Were we just kidding ourselves? We never had a formal conversation about anything. We weren't "dating". I was just the girl he called at odd hours of the night when he was on police patrol to talk to and he was the guy I texted when I needed some attention.
I really do not remember how the Milkshake saga ended in my life. I had to get one of my friends to remind me. Turns out I cussed him out one day after I got into a fender bender on my way home. I was mad at myself that I caused an accident and I took all my frustrations out on him. He had only called me to check up on my and ask how I was doing after the accident. I took it as in invitation to use him as my punching bag. I stopped returning his calls and answering his texts. I must have channeled my inner cold hearted bitch. My friend assured me that was a very scum-like move I had made . I agreed with her.
I knew he wasn't what I was looking for in my life at that time. My parents had just started the process to find me a groom and I wanted to end this chapter in my life. I got my closure. The rest of it was just for fun.I always knew he liked me, I just wanted to hear it from him.
Rumor has it he dropped out of the Police Academy and works security at a Museum. Poor guy had an arranged marriage with a girl from the motherland and is now since divorced. She left him when she came to Amreeka. I do feel for him. I really do hope he has his shit figured out now. A part of me still feels bad for him, but hey, you make your bed....you must lay in it.
I've never ran into him in the last seven years. But you never know, life always brings the past to me when I least expect it.
My friend suggested we could always take a trip to the Museum in case I need new material or a trip down memory lane.....or a second round of "closure".........
It's been so long I can't even remember how this resurfaced, except my friend was taking a class that required her to interview someone in law enforcement. My wheels were turning because I had found out through my mother Milkshake was in the police academy. So I actually called his mother for his phone number (we were all family friends) and asked if my friend could interview him agreed, I was surprised. I think I had convinced myself that we never got closure so I wanted to know what happened a few years ago between us. I needed him to fill in the missing pieces for me. Basically I needed the closure I never got.
The plan was that my friend, Milkshake and I would to meet up at the local coffee shop and conduct this "interview". Of course I had to be there because DUH I was the mutual friend between these two. It was a rainy November evening and it was voting day...my mother had called me to see if I had voted for Governor that day. I lied to her, I told her the lines were long and that's where I was held up. She would kick me out of the house if she knew what was really happening. Thank god the Democrat won, or else I would never forgive myself, after all one vote can make all the difference.
The Starbucks meet up went alright, he wore the most hideous plaid shirt I had ever seen in my life and apparently his adult acne was also beginning to show (maybe it was all the police academy stress?). We kept in touch frequently after that. Some innocent flirtation was happening back and forth. One day during finals week I decided I needed a distraction so I asked him to bring me coffee to the study room where I was "studying". I don't even know why I said it. It may have half been coerced by my friends and the other half all me trying to get a reaction out of him. He was out doing academy work so coffee was out but instead he asked me to dinner the next day...and I reluctantly agreed. I don't know I agreed. I saw the look in my friends' eyes. It was like they all found out they received F's on their finals. Some tried to talk me out of the date, others came home with me that night to plan my outfit for my "date" night. Let's just say no one studied for their finals that night..or the following day.
I wasn't nervous about the date until I got there. I had showed up late (on purpose). I made him wait 15 or 20 minutes. Where did we go? The local "Moe's" next to my house of course. Meaning if my dad decided to go to the grocery store that night he may or may not have seen my car there...with a boy. Yes I know sometimes common sense escapes me. Dinner was alright, he made a fresh comment about how Chipotle was so much better than Moe's. Well then genius why did you suggest Moe's?
After dinner we lurked around the parking lot and he asked me if he could handcuff me. Yes he really said that. Was I supposed to be impressed by that? I knew he had a pair of handcuffs, my virgin ears were not impressed I think I was more scared. I may have laughed and gave him the death stare and said no. Atif Aslam's "Tere Bin" was playing in my cd player when he walked me to my car - that I do remember. I never thanked him for dinner that night. Another common sense malfunction.
We continued talking for weeks and I found out he was not the same person I knew two years back. Of course people change, even I knew that. Turns out he did like me all these years he was just too afraid to say anything back then when I confessed my feelings. Such a coward. He also had a drinking problem and may have been depressed. I didn't know how to go about that. I remember he called me during the Billboard music awards one night and it was a drunk dial at 9pm on a weeknight. One day my friends brought me a flyer for an AA Meeting...to give it to him.
I was mean to him this time around. I knew I was pushing his buttons and treating him unfairly in some ways. Don't worry I wasn't THAT much of a beeyotch. One morning I even called him to apologize for being rude the night before. Actually, I complained to my friend who convinced me I was rude and I needed to say sorry. So she made me write out on a memo pad the exact words I was going to say and I left him a voice email reading that memo word for word. I was a stubborn desi back then. I had too much pride to apologize.
I had ended up in the ER one time and didn't know who to call. I called one of my best friends and when he found out he was hurt I never called him to drive me there. He told me he would be there for me if anything ever happened. Were we just kidding ourselves? We never had a formal conversation about anything. We weren't "dating". I was just the girl he called at odd hours of the night when he was on police patrol to talk to and he was the guy I texted when I needed some attention.
I really do not remember how the Milkshake saga ended in my life. I had to get one of my friends to remind me. Turns out I cussed him out one day after I got into a fender bender on my way home. I was mad at myself that I caused an accident and I took all my frustrations out on him. He had only called me to check up on my and ask how I was doing after the accident. I took it as in invitation to use him as my punching bag. I stopped returning his calls and answering his texts. I must have channeled my inner cold hearted bitch. My friend assured me that was a very scum-like move I had made . I agreed with her.
I knew he wasn't what I was looking for in my life at that time. My parents had just started the process to find me a groom and I wanted to end this chapter in my life. I got my closure. The rest of it was just for fun.I always knew he liked me, I just wanted to hear it from him.
Rumor has it he dropped out of the Police Academy and works security at a Museum. Poor guy had an arranged marriage with a girl from the motherland and is now since divorced. She left him when she came to Amreeka. I do feel for him. I really do hope he has his shit figured out now. A part of me still feels bad for him, but hey, you make your bed....you must lay in it.
I've never ran into him in the last seven years. But you never know, life always brings the past to me when I least expect it.
My friend suggested we could always take a trip to the Museum in case I need new material or a trip down memory lane.....or a second round of "closure".........
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)