Warning: This Really Happened

Every time I tell someone what happens in my life they always make a sarcastic comment about how my life should be reality show. No Duh! That's what I have been saying for years. The events that happen in my life or least the WAY it happens is not scripted and the tagline to the first season of my fake reality show should be titled: Warning: This really happened.

Where to begin. I was minding my own business Saturday night when all of a sudden I see a text message from someone. It wasn't until I opened up the message I notice who it was from and immediately my heart sank. It was from the most recent ex-frog of course. There was no real substance to it. And I laughed a bit inside for two reasons: Reason #1 being had he NOT texted me that day it would have been 1 whole month without any communication from him and I was perfectly fine with it. This is how it should be. However he could not even last 30 days. Reason #2 this was funny to me is because he was the one in our very last communication with each other who told me what unless I could get my act together that perhaps we should not remain in touch anymore. Point noted, I agreed with the no contact part but I guess he was the one who needed to get his act together because clearly he has proven over and over (and over) again that he is not a man of his word. The one thing I asked you to do was NOT contact me and that is the one thing you have failed at over and over again. I was really tempted to write to him: You keep this up and you will read about it in my blog and I know how much you love reading about yourself here. But the adult in me took over and refrained from saying that. And if he's clever enough and curious enough I am sure he is reading this right now.

So what happens next? I am on a rainy drive back from dropping my sister off at college when I start receiving text messages from two of my ex-boyfriends at the same time. What do I do, do I focus on driving in the rain or read the messages and write back? Okay, so I have been occasionally known to text and drive (everybody does it). And in my defense traffic wasn't moving at all and I was practically at a stand still. Who are these two people? the Ex-frog and Mr. NYC of course. The ex-frog just basically wrote to me but he was talking to himself when he proclaimed that be probably shouldn't have texted, called and then texted me again and that maybe it was time to delete my number of his phone. Brilliant thinking: would you like a cookie for that? Or do you want the invisible helmet back that you "gave" me in our last email exchange with each other?

The NYC saga is continuous now and I have been having a lot of fun with rejecting his "offers". This time around Mr. NYC is trying to convince me to come see him Labor Day Weekend and sighting reasons I should go see him. He's so determined to see me that he even proposed making a 5 hour drive to down to me if I was unwilling to go to him. Trust me I found this very amusing - partly because one of the reasons he told me for us breaking up is the whole distance thing and how he really hated making a 5 hour trip down. What happened to that Mr. NYC? Need I remind you of that conversation? It just kept getting more amusing hour by hour. Basically I just wanted to milk this situation for what it was worth and have some fun so I told him to tell me that he misses me and get it over with it already so he can get it out of his system lol.

And in case anyone is wondering - no one is going to see anyone. Having some innocent fun is one thing but I am at a point in my life where all this needs to stop. As of last night at midnight his great big epiphany was that we both want to see each other and we should just "make it happen". Haha, okay truth be told, I have been waiting for the satisfaction of rejecting him for a long time and nothing gives me more pleasure than simply saying NO. Plus he knows what is going on in my life right now and what he is suggesting is just plain wrong.

On a strange side note today I also found out that Mr. I Smoke Six Packs A Day with a messy bathroom got married. I was cleaning out my Facebook messages and apparently there is a feature where your previous deleted messages get stored as "archived messages". Yes I know...sometimes I just bring it upon myself but seriously though you know I had to click on his profile picture and see who that girl was. I never said I was proud of it :-)


I really hope Mrs. I Smoke Six Packs A Day saw his messy bathroom and filthy house before she said yes!