Let me tell you about the time I was scum. Mr. Kentucky might have been my first real suitor, but "Milkshake" was my first real crush. I was 16 when I fell for him, I spent hours and hours daydreaming about him. Then one day I mustered up the courage to tell him I liked him (on AIM nonetheless). I will never forget what his response was...."I am so proud you had the guts to admit that"......yeah. And the rest is history UNTIL a few years later in college during one unforgettable finals week. Yes some people study during finals and others...look for trouble.
It's been so long I can't even remember how this resurfaced, except my friend was taking a class that required her to interview someone in law enforcement. My wheels were turning because I had found out through my mother Milkshake was in the police academy. So I actually called his mother for his phone number (we were all family friends) and asked if my friend could interview him agreed, I was surprised. I think I had convinced myself that we never got closure so I wanted to know what happened a few years ago between us. I needed him to fill in the missing pieces for me. Basically I needed the closure I never got.
The plan was that my friend, Milkshake and I would to meet up at the local coffee shop and conduct this "interview". Of course I had to be there because DUH I was the mutual friend between these two. It was a rainy November evening and it was voting day...my mother had called me to see if I had voted for Governor that day. I lied to her, I told her the lines were long and that's where I was held up. She would kick me out of the house if she knew what was really happening. Thank god the Democrat won, or else I would never forgive myself, after all one vote can make all the difference.
The Starbucks meet up went alright, he wore the most hideous plaid shirt I had ever seen in my life and apparently his adult acne was also beginning to show (maybe it was all the police academy stress?). We kept in touch frequently after that. Some innocent flirtation was happening back and forth. One day during finals week I decided I needed a distraction so I asked him to bring me coffee to the study room where I was "studying". I don't even know why I said it. It may have half been coerced by my friends and the other half all me trying to get a reaction out of him. He was out doing academy work so coffee was out but instead he asked me to dinner the next day...and I reluctantly agreed. I don't know I agreed. I saw the look in my friends' eyes. It was like they all found out they received F's on their finals. Some tried to talk me out of the date, others came home with me that night to plan my outfit for my "date" night. Let's just say no one studied for their finals that night..or the following day.
I wasn't nervous about the date until I got there. I had showed up late (on purpose). I made him wait 15 or 20 minutes. Where did we go? The local "Moe's" next to my house of course. Meaning if my dad decided to go to the grocery store that night he may or may not have seen my car there...with a boy. Yes I know sometimes common sense escapes me. Dinner was alright, he made a fresh comment about how Chipotle was so much better than Moe's. Well then genius why did you suggest Moe's?
After dinner we lurked around the parking lot and he asked me if he could handcuff me. Yes he really said that. Was I supposed to be impressed by that? I knew he had a pair of handcuffs, my virgin ears were not impressed I think I was more scared. I may have laughed and gave him the death stare and said no. Atif Aslam's "Tere Bin" was playing in my cd player when he walked me to my car - that I do remember. I never thanked him for dinner that night. Another common sense malfunction.
We continued talking for weeks and I found out he was not the same person I knew two years back. Of course people change, even I knew that. Turns out he did like me all these years he was just too afraid to say anything back then when I confessed my feelings. Such a coward. He also had a drinking problem and may have been depressed. I didn't know how to go about that. I remember he called me during the Billboard music awards one night and it was a drunk dial at 9pm on a weeknight. One day my friends brought me a flyer for an AA Meeting...to give it to him.
I was mean to him this time around. I knew I was pushing his buttons and treating him unfairly in some ways. Don't worry I wasn't THAT much of a beeyotch. One morning I even called him to apologize for being rude the night before. Actually, I complained to my friend who convinced me I was rude and I needed to say sorry. So she made me write out on a memo pad the exact words I was going to say and I left him a voice email reading that memo word for word. I was a stubborn desi back then. I had too much pride to apologize.
I had ended up in the ER one time and didn't know who to call. I called one of my best friends and when he found out he was hurt I never called him to drive me there. He told me he would be there for me if anything ever happened. Were we just kidding ourselves? We never had a formal conversation about anything. We weren't "dating". I was just the girl he called at odd hours of the night when he was on police patrol to talk to and he was the guy I texted when I needed some attention.
I really do not remember how the Milkshake saga ended in my life. I had to get one of my friends to remind me. Turns out I cussed him out one day after I got into a fender bender on my way home. I was mad at myself that I caused an accident and I took all my frustrations out on him. He had only called me to check up on my and ask how I was doing after the accident. I took it as in invitation to use him as my punching bag. I stopped returning his calls and answering his texts. I must have channeled my inner cold hearted bitch. My friend assured me that was a very scum-like move I had made . I agreed with her.
I knew he wasn't what I was looking for in my life at that time. My parents had just started the process to find me a groom and I wanted to end this chapter in my life. I got my closure. The rest of it was just for fun.I always knew he liked me, I just wanted to hear it from him.
Rumor has it he dropped out of the Police Academy and works security at a Museum. Poor guy had an arranged marriage with a girl from the motherland and is now since divorced. She left him when she came to Amreeka. I do feel for him. I really do hope he has his shit figured out now. A part of me still feels bad for him, but hey, you make your bed....you must lay in it.
I've never ran into him in the last seven years. But you never know, life always brings the past to me when I least expect it.
My friend suggested we could always take a trip to the Museum in case I need new material or a trip down memory lane.....or a second round of "closure".........
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